Arguing over points

Arguing over points

In a relationship. If the fighting ever becomes about who said what, when, and how in the last fight, it’s time to get out. It’s a really simple barometer for what the focus of the relationship is and how the partners treat each other.

In a healthy relationship the arguments are about how people feel and what should be done to correct it. In an unhealthy relationship arguments are about proving sides and earning points.  Arguing over the transcript of the last fight is just people trying to verify their points.

This isn’t healthy.

(via Punfree @ reddit)

Attachment and Authenticity

Attachment and Authenticity

Attachment-and-authenticity

Attachment depends on the person’s ability to develop basic trust in their caregivers and self.

Dr. Maté explained that most people, when faced with the choice of either attachment or authenticity in their relationships, will go for attachment first, seeking recognition and validation from others instead of being able to give it to themselves. – Candice Plattor